Transparency Tuesday

In our household, we all struggle with a bit of anxiety. But when your 13 year old starts showing signs of depression and almost demon like behavior. You can’t always chuck it up to teen hormones.

When Maggie was only 13 she started showing signs of anxiety and depression. It had even crossed my mind a time or 2 that maybe she had been abused outside of the home. We decided to approach this carefully and watch a bit before jumping to conclusions. I’ve actually taken Maggie to the hospital for a severe panic attack. it was after then that she decided this was not the life for her. And of course her experiencing my last severe panic attack was enough for me to make changes as well.

It’s a funny story about Maggie and she is one of the main reasons I truly believe God gives us who we need. She is a mini me in almost every way and that’s pretty scary. but she was also born of birth control and discovered on the day I went to have my tubes tied.

I was 3 months pregnant when the doctors discovered Maggie. It was my pre op for a tubal ligation.

Gertty was now 2.5 YO and I had actually had an abortion a year earlier due to complications. We decided my body had enough and was time to close factory. So we scheduled my tubal and during the pre screen my blood work showed I was 14 weeks pregnant. I’m not gonna lie, I was devastated. All I could think was “great! My body is going to reject this baby as well and I’ll need another abortion!” And all though this pregnancy was great, I never recovered from the blues. And that lead me into the downward spiral.

Maggie was the happiest most social and outgoing child I had encountered in years. She smiled, laughed, loved even joked at a young age. Then when she was 15 months she almost drown. Some say it was the woman’s spirit who had died in the home that saved her but I believe it was God. a divine appt. when she was 2 she fell off a bench and cracked her skull open! Instantly her beautiful blonde curly hair became a red mess of tangles yet only needed 1 staple. As she grew she seemed to become more and more dark. By 14 years old she was rude, withdrawn, left the church, was failing school, and sleeping a lot. Basic teen behavior? When she was 15 she started medication. High doses of CBD every morning and micro doses throughout the day. And It Helped. A lot

After puberty, and when the boy craze years hit, she slipped back into a dark state. At 16 she was now medically treated with THC as Xanax and lithium are not options for children in this house. And WOW huge difference. Until she was 17 and started talking to this boy whom made her crazy ALL.THE.TIME constantly playing games with her and flirty with other girls, just to lie, get caught and turn it on her. After getting her to open up I discovered all these little boys she been messing with are 14/15. I encouraged her to date up! Little boys are immature and play games! That’s what they do. So after a few weeks of dumping all the kids and spending time with older friends, we are happy to say that Maggie has done a 180 and is back to her happy, loving, sassy, sarcastic but funny as shit self. And that’s with zero meds.

We can’t be so quick to jump on the modern medicine train! Especially when it comes to children. I have friends who’s kids have taken their own lives after being given the wrong meds or doses. Just communicate with your children and let them know you are a safe space. Maggie is deff a blessing from God and she has a huge calling on her life. I believe she will lead others out of darkness, just as I believe I have been called to do. God knew I needed her, to wake me up and learn to walk in the light. Together we are doing just that.

6 thoughts on “Transparency Tuesday

  1. I wish I had a parent like you when I was younger. Instead my parents taught me only of a cruel, brutal god and look so pious and sainty. I quoted scripture, all twisted by their church and them, believing the abuse was god sanctioned.

    I had to leave church to find my own spirituality. I wish I had been surrounded with Christians who focused on the new testament and Jesus.

    You being a safe space for your children is so important. Of course with appropriate limits as part of parenting.

    I’m so glad your children are thriving.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My parents were cruel and loveless. They believed children should not be seen or heard so when Damian and I decided to have children, we knew they had to be raised and cared for differently then I was. I’m sorry you went through that. We actually left our church of 15 years because of the false teachings and bull of the leadership. Now we fellowship and bible study together as a family and it’s amazing❤️

      Liked by 1 person

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