While waiting for our pleasure package, we don’t just sit around. We started to shake things up! Communicating how we are feeling and exploring the different structures of BDSM. Which in fact is a 6 part structure defined as follows.
B/D bondage and discipline
D/s Domination and submission
S/M sadism and masochism
Damian and I were both drawn quickly to Bondage, particularly Shibari-the Japanese art of rope bondage. It is intriguing and beautiful. And as we watched video after video and looked at 100s of photos, we both agreed that it is for us.
Right from the first tie, Damian was a natural. He has not only the eye and memory for the knots and ties, but the patience that is a definite must for this art. He is calm and gentle, softly checking in with me constantly to be sure my anxiety remains in check! He always makes sure to check the tightness and not pull the ropes to close to my neck. I must add, I have come to enjoy Damian gently choking me with his own hands during sex, but the ropes do not have that positive effect on me yet. And I stress yet! This process is truly comforting and healing. And because of communication, we have no concerns that an emergency situation will arise! Once again, communication and trust in action.
I, on the other hand, surprisingly, fell naturally into a dominant role! Taking charge sexually, and calling all the shots. We started with what we have on hand, what we know. Spanking, humiliation, gentle anal play, biting, scratching, and blindfolding. All of it is invigorating! But spanking, or impact play is, oh so satisfying! Be it the sound of the crisp snap on Damians luscious bare ass, the red marks and welts, occasional specks of blood, after bruising or the look of painful pleasure in his face! All I know is my sexual desire grows every day and I am even to a point where I can now orgasm without any form of physical stimulation! Wow!
Because of the power and confidence being dominant gives me and the peace and pleasure it brings to Damian, we are fairly certain that pegging is going to be amazing! If you do a bit of research you will learn that it is actually healthy for men to engage in gentle pegging, as it stimulates the prostate and clears out any blockage that may have developed over the years! Health benefit! Bonus!
Discipline is our weakness, and we haven’t fully explored that area. We are both not to comfortable about rules or commands we need to have in place, because at this point in our marriage we have never tried to rule over each other. With that being said, we are definitely going to need to put some into play so as to adhere to the full scope of the structure! And like I’ve said before, coming out of our comfort zones is a major part of this journey. In the meantime, we are working on improving this step through our regular daily lifestyles. Taking control of our health, through diets and getting our vitamins and daily exercise. (On top of the physical exertion it takes to be so sexually extreme on the daily.) taking these steps to be disciplined in our physical will help us unleash the discipline in our sexual.
We have also explored edging or, denying orgasm. It’s one thing to go days, weeks or even months without sex! That just leaves you frustrated and depressed. It could even cause a deep dark space between couples. But to actually have hot passionate play, everyday, for days in a row, to only deny orgasm again and again, is another level of sensation! And yes it does lead to a much more pleasurable and explosive orgasm! And after a few days of denial, when the moment arrives for release, you and your partner will be pulled closer together in the act of simultaneous, explosive and glorious climactic euphoria! Give it a try! You won’t be disappointed. And no special toys or equipment is needed. Just some fun teasing and taunting. It’s a great way to ease into a new sexual journey and get you warmed up for all that BDSM can offer.